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Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change

Change the way you look at things and the things you look at change. The first time I read this quote from Wayne Dyer it rang true for me and it has stuck with me ever since. I changed the way I looked at time when I was 40 years old and totally changed my life. It was so amazing I wrote a book about it.
There are many ways this quote can fit into your life. You can change how you look at your past. Those of us who have a somewhat checkered past can see it as a source of shame. If you are an addict, for example, chances are you stole to feed your habit. Or maybe you sold your body or conned your best friend out of cash. Yes these things are bad, some downright terrible. Do these actions make you a terrible person today? No, they don’t. Today if you are a recovering addict who is not feeding that addiction, you are working on building a new life. We refer to it as a new life because that’s what it is. It’s you changing the way you look at yourself. And part of that involves looking at your past differently.
I recently met a group of people who are peer support workers who work in hospitals and group homes. Peer support workers are people who have lived experience that they are now able to use to help others. So now when a person comes into the ER because of an overdose there is someone there who has experienced exactly what that person is experiencing. This worker can advise the addict on what is going to happen next, advise them of available resources, offer a caring shoulder to cry on and just be supportive. Something doctors and nurses just don’t have time for. The interesting thing about these peer support workers is that they are no longer ashamed of their past. Their past, as rough as it was, is now something to put on a resume. It was interesting to hear them say things like…”Who would have thought that 42 visits to detox would be something I could put on a resume.” Their past is no longer a cloak of shame, it’s more like a badge of courage. Which is exactly what it is. It takes a whole lot of courage to dig yourself out of the pit of addiction and live a healthy responsible life.
We should be conscious of how we look at others and not be judgmental. When I started my life over at 40 I had nothing and lived with my mother. My first place after moving out of my mother’shouse was a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a bare lightbulb above the bed and boxes piled everywhere. It sure wasn’t fancy but it was MY place. That was my home for months while I was taking a Casino Dealing course. I didn’t see myself as a loser because of where I lived because I knew it was only temporary. And now, because of my past experience when I see someone who is down on their luck or homeless I don’t look down on them or judge. I wasn’t homeless but I was close to it. I know that bad things can happen to the nicest people.
An arborist looks at a tree as an organism that needs care and an artist looks at the same tree as something that must be recorded for posteritybecause it is so beautiful. It’s the same tree but seen through different eyes. How you see yourself is not necessarily how others see you. This was brought to my attention in a book I read called The Fifth Agreement by Don Miguel Ruiz. I won’t quote him but I will use the same analogy. Imagine you go into a theatre and they are playing “My Life”. You sit down and watch as your past unfolds before your eyes. As you watch you say to yourself; “I remember that, that’s just how I remember it.” When the show is over you go to the next theatre that is showing “My life through my Mom’s eyes.”You sit down to watch and you are expecting the same movie. However, as you watch you discover that it is nothing like your movie at all. The way your mother sees you is totally different than the way you imagine she sees you. If you continue to watch your life through the eyes of others you will find that nobody sees you the way you see yourself. In fact you will find that some people that you worried about impressing didn’t even notice you. You would also find that most people have a higher regard for you than you thought possible. Change the way you look at yourself and you will change. If you are too busy looking at the negative you will miss the positives. Look at the positives in your life, there are many I’m sure, and make your life a beautiful thing. Actually, it already is, you just don’t know it.
Knowing that we can make positive changes just by changing our view, maybe it’s time that we look at our neighbours differently. We are quickly becoming a polarized society. Polarized seems to be the buzz word when it comes to politics these days. We all have our own opinions of how things should be and because of our tribal nature we have become unwilling to listen to the other side. We are seeing much more violence and hearing so much hatred. As this hatred grows we become more polarized because each side moves farther apart, not willing to even hear what the other side has to say. The end result is that we don’t accomplish near as much as we could if we all worked together. So how do we change this? By asking questions. Talk to your neighbour across the street that has a different sign on their front lawn than you. Don’t hate them for it. Ask them, why do you feel this way? Why do you vote for this party and not mine? You may find that you both have more in common than you think. A democratic society puts the “people’s choice” in power. That does not mean the other side is wrong in their views, just different. It’s when we try to force our opinions on to others that anger turns to hatred. And hatred puts up walls.
You should always stand up for what you believe in but you should also keep an open mind. Because, If you change the way you look at things the things you look at change.